Homeward Journey by John MacNair Reid

Author:John MacNair Reid [John Macnair Reid]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: General Fiction
ISBN: 9781847675163
Publisher: Canongate Books
Published: 2009-04-15T00:00:00+00:00

2

Though he was persuaded that this was the best thing to do and knew that his prospects would brighten a hundredfold by the decision, an uneasiness of the spirit never known before increased as the few remaining days went by. He was persuaded, yet in the hinterland of the mind there was a suspicion that Jessie had forced matters. He could not believe that Elizabeth in similar circumstances would have succumbed. Jessie’s was a tacit acceptance of defeat, and defeat in this way meant a betrayal of duty, however repulsive and odious the circumstance.

The manner in which she proposed to leave home quickened his uneasiness. She intended to walk out of the house on Saturday morning and not go back. Her father would search the town and on Monday morning call at the shop. He would be afraid, however, to make a scene there, and she would tell him that she was not coming back. She would inevitably face up to him some time; but so long as it wasn’t in the house, where he could corner and abuse her, she didn’t care. There were some things she wanted desperately to tell him, and she would let him have these if he ‘chased her up’.

This attitude seemed intolerably cruel in David’s eyes. It was of the heartlessness of which she accused her parents. In maintaining it behind her bright smiles and gentle manner she seemed less justified in judging them. David at first asked incredulously, ‘But can you let them worry a whole weekend, not knowing where you are?’ and felt the inhumanity of her reply, ‘It’ll do them good,’ as a personal assault.

Her expectancy that he would agree with this was a humiliation.

‘Bad as they’ve been to you, Jessie, you needn’t be cruel to them. You mustn’t give them cause to revile you.’

‘But I must leave. Why should I stand a first-class row if I can avoid it?’

‘We’ll have to think of something.’

Since the incident at the theatre and the prospect of sharing a responsibility of her actions developed, he had become almost masterful with her. There was a ring in his voice now that she respected and feared. But for the life of her she could not understand such scruples over people’s feelings where hers had been so continuously outraged. She turned blankly to him, apprehensive yet interested.

‘What can we think of? I’ve simply got to leave.’

‘Are you leaving to hurt them or to escape?’

‘I don’t want to hurt them, of course, but I must escape or they will hurt me.’

I want you to go home tonight and tell them, simply, that you are going away.’

‘Heavens! I couldn’t!’ She laughed grimly at the idea.

‘Well, then, we must invent something. Go home tonight and tell them you’ve got a new job with a bigger salary somewhere—somewhere out of Glasgow.’ The idea formed rapidly in his mind. ‘You can say Dundee. That’s too far for your father to visit you and too expensive for you to visit them. Tell them you’ve been sacked from your present place and must take the new job.

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